Nonfiction

Alyssa Alcala

Twilight Lip Gloss

When I was younger, I remember buying (begging my mom to buy me) lip gloss from some random brand that I couldn’t even tell you the name of now. AlI remember is that the lip gloss packaging was based on the movie Twilight. Like most tweens, I was obsessed with Twilight and wanted anything and everything that had to do with the franchise. I had a Twilight board game that I made my grandparents play with me, which they didn’t care for since it was just a bunch of movie trivia and which I loved since I always won. This didn’t help my enviable narcissism.

Back to the lip gloss though, it was stunning. It was a clear gloss but had what seemed like a million sparkles. Not in a craft store floor kind of way but in a vampire stepping into the sunlight and beaming way. I also remember it smelling like fake cupcakes and like early CoverGirl makeup, but the scent was very comforting. When I first went home with my new purchase, I carefully took it out of the packaging, opened to smell it, swiped it across my lips once, and then carefully placed it back to never be touched again. I didn’t hate it, I loved it too much, in fact. I thought it should only be saved for very special occasions.

A couple of weeks later I went to school where a girl whom I knew was also obsessed with Twilight had also gotten the same lip gloss. I watched in horror from across the classroom as she took it out to reapply 3 times within an hour. Logically you’re thinking, well of course she would use it she’ll just buy another when she runs out. I was forever in my mother’s debt when she bought it for me the first time, so the thought of having her buy another one didn’t dare cross my mind. I was only saving it for a special occasion, so why would I need to buy another one right?

This girl and I ended up talking later at the end of class. She pulled out her lip gloss once more to which I said, “oh I have the same one!”. She replied with how much she loved it and I agreed. Side note, I would also like to mention the fact that I was an annoying child as well and I gave this girl my unsolicited opinion and told her that I was too afraid to use mine because I was only saving it for a special occasion. She looked down and put her gloss away with a sad look on her face as if I just told her my mom ran over her dog.

I feel terrible now for making this girl feel bad about using something she owned because you know what I did. Nothing, absolutely nothing. All this time saving my gloss for a special occasion, which, what did I genuinely expect was going to happen? That Nick Jonas himself was randomly going to find the address to my house, not caring that I was a literal child, and ask me out to a movie premiere date with him? Yes, I did expect that and spoiler alert this is not Priyanka Chopra writing this. I found the gloss several years later as I of course completely forgot about it.

For those unfamiliar with makeup, each item you buy has what the makeup industry refers to as “shelf life”. This acts as an expiration date or a “best use by” date. While most things you can use past their shelf life, it’s not recommended as it can mold, dry out, the product won’t apply the same, or even worse, can cause infection if used. My lip gloss was far too expired for me to use even if I did have some special occasion when it was reintroduced into my life. The sparkles were crystalized and chunky, the clear gloss had turned into a rotting yellow, and the fake cupcake smell that had once been comforting was now making me gag.

I think I carry this mentality a lot in my life to this day. I save things in my life until I feel I am worthy to use them. I save all my money and don’t spend it in case of emergencies. I don’t make plans on my days off in case a better option arises. I save my nice clothes at the back of my closet just in case I discover I am the new princess of Genovia when I could just use them today. I don’t need an excuse to live my life, but I always try to find some reason I can justify to myself that it’s okay to do so. I have watched so much of my life go by, revving my engine and waiting for the light to turn green. I’m starting to realize I’ve been on a freeway the entire time and I just need to step on the gas and go. Life is scary, beautiful, fun, and all the things in between. The scariest part of it is allowing yourself to live it. So put on that lip gloss friends, today, tomorrow, and every other day after that because every day is the special occasion you’ve been waiting for.

My name is Alyssa Alcala and I’m finishing my last year at Eastern Gateway, majoring in Business with a focus on Digital Marketing. I hope to take that degree and work in publishing or the entertainment industry. In my downtime, I make zines about my interests, such as movies or music, or things that are just on my mind but mainly about movies. I enjoy watching all genres of movies, but my favorites are horror and rom-com. Writing is my favorite way to de-stress and workshop all my jokes, so I hope reading my piece you at least cracked a little smile.